OKAY so I saw a well-established illustrator tweet something today about how they don’t understand “professional jealousy” because we need to focus on lifting each other up blah blah and yes I agree with the second part but let’s address the jealousy thing.

Jealousy is totally natural and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. As artists we are all trying to make it in this HIGHLY competitive field, and hey I’m all about positivity and working together to make the industry better for everyone but let’s get real for a second. I think there is one main goal for us as a whole and that is to be able to support ourselves with our CRAFT full-time. We want to quit our office jobs, our barista jobs, our serving/retail jobs and be in a privileged enough position to work as an artist. Like holy crap if I could never come back into this office I’m currently typing this out at and stay at home, or maybe a studio omg that is the dream right there actually. I would love to have a fuckin’ studio space and say things like “haha good brunch girls, off to my studio to get some work done!” or “wow I really need to go clean-up my studio, these charcuterie plates are really stacking up!” or “OH GOD HOW DID THIS FERAL DOG GET INTO MY STUDIO EVERYTHING IS DESTROYED I’M RUINED! WAIT IT’S STILL IN HERE AND IT CAN SMELL MY FEAR SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!” Anyway, I’m getting off track.

So for a successful award-winning (and well intentioned! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think they meant any harm by it at ALL by tweeting their opinion) artist to say they just could not imagine why an artist would be jealous of another artist, I just can’t help but feel it’s a bit tone-deaf and bums me out. Man, I can’t tell you how many depressive episodes I’ve fell into by seeing the people around me getting these amazing gigs, and I just feel like I’m being left behind. Am I proud of feeling that way? ABSOLUTELY NOT. But it’s reality baby and I don’t want people to think they are wrong for feeling that way, too. We are all fucked up art nerds trying to get noticed and it’s hard and it’s ok to feel bad when the hard work doesn’t pay off. Just remember your time will come, keep up that hustle and don’t get stuck in the mud too long when those shitty feelings show up. Oh and always remember success is like 40% hard work and 60% dumb luck and that’s a tried and true scientific formula. I’m telling this to myself as much as you, the beautiful stranger reading this right now.

I just wanted to write something up because it was too long to fit into a lil tweet. TL:DR: Don’t feel shitty about feeling jealous when you see an artist climbing that success ladder when you feel like you’ve still got both feet on the ground. We all feel that way sometimes and it’s OK. :)