Creating Stuff Feels Good. Alternate Title: NOT Creating Stuff Feels Bad.

OK LET'S TALK ABOUT BEING PRODUCTIVE, BEING BAD AT ART, AND FEELING BAD.

Alright let's dim the lights and talk about something real, kids: self-esteem. We all have it! Some days are good self-esteem days and some are bad, blah blah whatever this isn't some anti-depression pamphlet. We all know what self-esteem is and most of us are sad most of the time who cares. That's what millennial absurdist self-deprecating meme humor is for. What I want to talk about is how feeling bad can be directly linked to how we feel as artists - or as I will never refer to myself again - CREATIVES. LOL.

Okay get ready for this next thing because it is going to blow your minds. EVERYONE WANTS ATTENTION. We all love it. I know it's like super fun to talk shit about Instagram models and Youtubers - or whatever millennial nonsense things baby boomers HATE - for craving attention but omg who cares we all crave attention, it is literally the thing that fuels our self-esteem meter and it's not a new concept. Ever since Caveman Dave ripped that big neanderthal fart to impress his BOYFRIEND Caveman Greg - yes, cave people were GAY. GET OVER IT - our attention-needy society was born.

As an artist, creating dumb stuff is what makes me feel good. It replenishes my self-esteem meter. So that's all well and good, yay I figured that out. Good job, me. THE PROBLEM IS when I either do not want to create anything, or I cannot create anything GOOD. Then, boom I feel like an absolute turd. And I mean a bad one, like when you forgot your dairy pill and decided to roll the dice and eat that cheese anyway and cut to you on the toilet, straining a little more than you know you should just to plop out that little brown nugget, still feeling full of that dairy poison. Sorry, I got a little lost in that metaphor there. 

So what do you do? Force yourself to make something that you could end up hating? Just try to chill out and tell yourself it's okay to have Bad Art Days and do nothing? Well, yes and yes. Actually, I don't know, I'm not even sure what my point is anymore. It's just a weird thing and it's frustrating and I'm trying to make myself feel better by typing these virtual words into the internet void because I'm probably not going to create any art today so at least I'm being productive in some way. OH YEAH, okay I'm back. Productivity! Just do SOMETHING. If you know your self-esteem is wrapped up in whether or not you are doing something YOU deem as "productive" them omg just do it. We are just flesh beans wobbling around on this big blue space rock trying to validate our existence, so do that thing and feel good. Do a thing and post it on your socials for those internet likes because you know it will make you feel good.

What have we learned today? CREATING stuff feels good and NOT CREATING stuff feels bad. Oh, that's it. I guess I could have just said that.